"You can’t heal in the same mindset that broke you. Forgiveness begins the moment you choose yourself over the chaos someone else created."
This line captures the core of the book: forgiveness isn’t about the other person, it’s about reclaiming your peace.
So many of us stay stuck because we think healing requires the other person to apologize, take accountability, or magically become someone they never were. But the truth is this:
Your healing is yours.
Your peace is yours.
And your power begins the moment you choose YOU.
When you shift your mindset from “why did they do this to me?” to “what do I need to move forward?”, you take the wheel back. That’s the mindset change this excerpt speaks to.
Forgiveness isn't soft. It’s not weakness.
It’s not forgetting what happened, it’s choosing to stop letting it shape your day, your mood, your self-worth, and your future.
Here are the core messages this excerpt teaches:
1. Healing Requires a New Mindset
You can’t heal while still operating with the thoughts, habits, or beliefs that kept you in pain.
Forgiving yourself for staying too long, ignoring red flags, or loving someone who didn’t know how to love you, that is part of the shift.
2. Choosing Yourself Is Not Selfish
You are allowed to walk away from what doesn’t protect your peace.
You are allowed to grow beyond who someone else expected you to be.
You are allowed to stop carrying the emotional weight they handed you.
Choosing yourself is the first real act of forgiveness.
3. Forgiveness Breaks Cycles
Toxic relationships often leave you repeating emotional patterns, insecurity, self-blame, hyper-independence, mistrust.
Forgiveness interrupts those cycles and allows you to rewrite your story.
You don’t forgive to let someone else off the hook.
You forgive so you don’t stay hooked to the pain.
🌱 Today’s Reflection Prompt
Ask yourself:
“What old mindset do I need to release so that I can step into the healed version of myself?”
Write it down. Acknowledge it. And remind yourself that you’re allowed — and worthy — of starting again.
📘 If You’re On Your Forgiveness Journey…
This blog series is part of the build-up to the release of my new book,
I Want to Forgive You and Forget You: How to Forgive for Yourself and Move On From Toxic Relationships, a raw, honest guide to letting go, choosing yourself, and finally finding peace.
Stay tuned for more excerpts, affirmations, and behind-the-scenes reflections as we move closer to launch day.
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